This is not therapy, it is completely private, & my only agenda is to get you what you want. Oh, & this is not hard...couples OVER estimate how difficult it will be to make this change and UNDER estimate how painful it will be to stay where they are
Every week you will schedule a 90-min date when it is convenient for you, there will be a video experience waiting to be the third wheel & guide you. You can expect a date that ACTUALLY deepens your relationship (unlike a boring dinner & a movie)
You do a lot that goes unnoticed or unappreciated, until now. I get it, it is easy to take our partners for granted & when life gets busy it seems more efficient to just mention what is not working.
Even couples who ARE showing their love & appreciation, are doing it in a way that their partner can not actually RECEIVE it (or worse, their partner actually hates it and it annoys them).
This week you will discover & practice showing each other love/appreciation in the ways you actually crave.
No one can push our buttons better than our partner. Most couples filter what they say so they don't offend or cause a fight.
This week you will stop being nervous or scared to bring up difficult conversations. Stop feeling the need to protect your partners feelings, or not get the truth out because you are worried about offending them.
With a few communication tricks you will be amazed how ease this can be.
Also, discover your self sabotaging patterns that pull you further apart so you can stop them from stealing your intimacy.
Most couples only seek growth together when they are in trouble & the rest of the time they are on autopilot. They might be working on their goals separately but rarely do that have a vision & structure to grow their love/ intimacy over time.
This week you will learn what is truly important to you both about your relationship & create a vision for your future about where this LOVE is going & how you want it to grow. This helps to reveal why we are motivated to spend time, money, energy on different things. We will align your relationship values so can make what is important to you both a priority.
So many relationships are void of all intimacy because somewhere along the lines we made all forms of connection lead to sex. We stop hugging, kissing, flirting, looking in each others eyes, etc.
This week we will reintroduce you to the magic of intimacy without an agenda.
You will leave with fun intimacy increasing exercises so when you are spending time together you are actually growing closer together & stirring up the chemistry.
Ok, this changed my life. I am going to introduce you a new way of thinking about getting turned on (even if you feel like your not very sexual or struggle to get turned on).
This will you will get the truth about what turns your partner on (& what doesn't). No more mind-reading.
You will also learn how to ask & get your needs met. Hey, you might be starved for sex or connection, I GET IT!
You will get plenty of practice getting clear on your needs, asking for what you want, & will feel surprisingly safe doing so.
You might be thinking, "we talk all the time". If we are honest, most of us have swallowed more conversations then you can count. There can be years of built of conversations, so much so that you don't even know where to start.
From MONEY, MENTAL ILLNESS, PARENTING, to FAMILY ISSUES, a relationship needs to have the skills to navigate them all.
This week you will learn to how take each others personal needs & desires that you have learned so far and plan surprises & dates that keeps things new and fun.
2 personalized date experiences will be put them on the calendar, these are carefully crafted for each other based off of your values, how you receive love, & what turns you on.
Lucky you, after these 8 weeks you already have the habit of meeting weekly for 1 hour. I am going to show you how to keep this going.
Life gets busy, so our Intimacy Interruption system will ensure you both stay connected & know what to do on a weekly basis to keep moving forward.
End this week with massive relief knowing everything you want to talk about or say to your partner has either been said or is in the que for a later discussion (I will show you how).
& I get that starting conversations or knowing what conversations you need to have is the hardest part, we will set you up for weeks to come.
"I feel relief. We never deal with our problems or talk about our relationship. Learning how "my shit" & "her shit" came together to form "our shit" helped me to understand the problems we were having. Our relationship will be much better as a result of this experience"
"We talked about things here that we have not talked about in our 17 years together. Our relationship was good before coming here but missing the connection that makes you excited to see your spouse. We learned the tools that helped us talk about our needs and wants in our day to day life as well as our sexual needs that we never talked about before. I feel my marriage will be full of excitement and what we all dream about. "
"We had lack of communication, sex, safety to communicate, & knowing what each other wanted. Learning about setting safe containers was the best part for me so I can make a safe place for my wife. I feel much better about my marriage and feel we are heading in the right direction. "
"Before this experience, my marriage was pretty good, we thought. We got along great for the most part and he even recently joined me in my business. Like most couples, something was missing, but what? The spark! We didn't realize that a lot of aspects of our marriage (and life) were just us "going through the motions". Since taking this course, we have discovered a new marriage. Using our "Love Languages" and "Eroctic Blueprint". We are so excited to implement the skills you have given to us."
Don't convince them, sell them! How do THEY want your relationship to improve? What are THEIR needs? Shine a light on how doing to this experience is going to help you give them that!
We HAVE to know what is in it for US...we are selfish beings. Let him know what is in it for THEM and what it will do for them.
You only need to talk to each other! There is no interaction with anyone else needed for the online experience.
This work would be extremely complimentary to therapy if that is what you choose. You might need extra support from me or another professional if there is a history of abuse, serious depression or anxiety, mental illness, or if your are personally really struggling outside of your relationship. Even with these factors, this work would be extremely helpful but it might just be incomplete for some of your presenting issues. Also, most of my clients say "I got more in a day with you than years of therapy"...so there is that!
First of all, this is COACHING! So you can take a breath knowing you are not going to therapy. Nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You are just really brave & honest about what you need in a way that most people are not. We are not finding out what is WRONG with you, diagnosing anything, or blaming anyone for anything. You will not be talking about problems for hours on end or digging up old trauma. It is expected that you will actually have a lot of fun doing this work!
I do not believe there is a perfect order. It is very likely each of you have work to do. This program is going to serve you extremely well regardless if you have some personal changes you want to make. In fact, this work will allow you to accelerate your personal work. So yes, you can start here!
I get it! My partner naturally desires much more physical touch than I do. So a whole bunch of talking when all you want is a better sex life sounds awful. Because of this, I infuse touch challenges into this experience as well as show ways to get your physical needs met. Sex is just a symptom of what is really going on in your relationship. Once you are able to communicate clearly we will discover what is really going on so you can deal with it. So YES, this is essential in helping your sex life.
This is possible you will fight & it is my intention to help you learn to communicate in such a way that prevents "fights". If you experience a struggle, you will have the coaching calls to send in questions to get feedback. I create A LOT of rules and structure in the experiences I give you so if you follow them, this will help to prevent any unnecessary tension.
Alright, this is the moment I am going to coach you (I hope I have your permission).
1. Think of all the things you spend money on now, what do they add to your life? Do they truly make you feel the way you want to feel? or are you left longing for more? Most of us do temporary self care like our hair or nails or he goes snowmobiling, or we eat out and drink on the weekends, etc. We plan trips, live in fancy houses, and drive nice cars...but still feel this void. Redirecting money is possible & if this is important to you, you can make it happen.
2. You likely cannot afford not to, what is having this relationship the way it is costing you? Your happiness? maybe your health? how it is impacting your kids (yes, they notice)? where are you heading (divorce)?
I am not here to convince you or sell you something you do not want or need. I am here to remind you that if you want it, make it happen!
First of all, it is only an hour a week. But this is also yours for as long as you need it. So if you get behind, no big deal. Just continue where you left off when you make it back.
No, sorry. If you are only willing to invest in your relationship if your insurance will cover it...it might be worth your while to ask yourself why. It is a personal choice for me to not have my work covered through insurance. Clients use to only support themselves with a change to the level that their insurance company would pay for it. If we really want to change, we must be willing to put a little skin in the game... if ya know what I'm saying!